When You Are Insulted...

A few years back, I attended a wedding. I went along with my college staff. As we were entering the church building, some lecturers were walking ahead of me, others behind me. Near the entrance was a gentleman who was distributing song sheets (with songs to be sung at the wedding). He handed song sheets to people entering the church. When it was my turn, I stretched my hand to receive one for myself as well. He paused, looked at me and asked “Can you sing?” If I had a ‘pride-o-meter’, the indicator would have shot up to the highest, for a moment. Meanwhile, this is what was going on in my mind: “I lead the college choir; I’ve been part of the All Souls’ Church choir; I lead worship. What made him think I can’t sing? Is he judging by looks?” One voice said, “Walk on without replying. It’s an insult! You only miss a song sheet.” The other voice said, “Who are you after all? Who gave you the gift of singing? Tell him you can sing. It is OK to be insulted.” After a moment of struggle, I chose to obey the latter voice. I calmly replied to him, “Yes, I can sing.” Again, I stretched my hand and this time, he gave me a song sheet.

It could seem like a very small thing. But, our response to such ‘small things’ matter a lot. Such situations actually reveal our true colours. I used to think I am humble enough. Only when put to test did I realise there is so much of pride in me! One of my favourite quotes: “Humility is a funny thing. The moment you think you’ve got it, you’ve lost it.” How true!

My definition of humility used to be “not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” If all I can think about is myself - me, my comfort, my problems, I have pride! Later I learnt this: “Humility is not thinking of yourself at all.” But, how can we possibly do that? If we are occupied with thinking about the interests of others (Philippians 2:4) and that of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:21), we cannot be proud and selfish. That way, we won’t even think “I’ve become humble enough!”

Christ Himself is the perfect example of humility. It amazes me that being in very nature God, He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. (Philippians 2:6,7)

He exhibited His humility by:

• Being born as a baby and becoming vulnerable 
• Being born in a manger, not in a palace 
• Being obedient to His earthly parents, though He was God 
• Talking to and feasting with ‘sinners’ 
• Obeying the laws of the land (He did not claim tax exemption because He was God!) 
• Being quiet when people called him ‘just a man’ and when people insulted Him 
• Not taking revenge against those who wanted to kill him 
• Relating to you and me and calling us His children! 

I could go on with the list....

May we be imitators of Christ and His attitude, of course, with His strength. Meekness is not weakness. In fact, it takes God's strength.

My Second Biggest Decision!!

It was a Wednesday night. When I was about to hit the bed after a long day at work, I got a call from my dad. It was quite unusual for him to call at that time. What was he going to say? He didn’t take too long to get to the point. There was a marriage proposal for me. The guy’s parents had heard about me from a common friend and they thought I would be a suitable life partner for him. That’s how it usually works in our culture -- arranged marriage, as it is called. My dad went on to say a little about him. His name is Daniel; he works with Infosys, and he is a spiritual person. My dad had spoken to me about other marriage proposals before. They didn’t work out for some reason or the other. So, I didn’t take it too seriously this time either. But I had to give him some answer. I said I would pray about it.

Then I quickly opened his Facebook profile on my phone. There wasn’t much activity on his Facebook page, but he had a profile picture. He was a guy with a pleasant face and curly long hair tied in a pony. Long hair? Hmmm... not exaclty my taste. I was not too sure what to think of him. But, I made a note of our one mutual friend and decided to talk to her. Then, I prayed that if this is the person I should marry, then it would happen; if not, I prayed that it would somehow be stopped. With that, I slept.

The next morning, my dad e-mailed me his picture. Well, in this one, he had short hair and a pleasant smiling face. I was hoping he has short hair now. I also reasoned that his profile picture on Facebook is probably not up to date, since he did not seem to be active on Facebook anyway. Then I called our mutual friend and asked her about Daniel. She said they were colleagues and he is a very nice person. Alright, that's good, but I can't make up my mind either way yet!

Soon, I got another call from dad and he asked if it would be fine for me to meet the person and talk to him on Saturday. What? In two more days? I was not sure I was ready for it. I had just heard his name for the first time yesterday! I could see that my parents were very excited about the marriage proposal. They had their reasons. The guy’s family had said that they would not take a dowry, which is traditionally a huge amount of money the bride’s family would have to pay the groom’s family at the time of marriage. That was proof that they are not money-minded people and they respect people for who they are. Finally, I agreed for our meeting on Saturday, because I didn't have a good reason to say no.

I did not yet have much reason to be as excited as my parents were, but I continued to pray. I had always thought that I would ask a lot of questions before I would agree to marry a guy. I wanted to find out everything about him before I would say “yes”. Here was my time to do what I had always wanted to do. Or was it? On Friday night, when I read my Bible, I came upon this verse in Philippians 2:3, 4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.” That struck me hard and realigned my perspective of marriage. I realized that marriage is not about finding someone who would fit into my expectations, but the process of me weaving into his life and being a part of God's kingdom together. That was a game changer for me. I decided not to take my notepad to the ‘interview’, after all. I would let him talk and see how it goes. My prayer was that at the end of the meeting, God would make it clear to me whether I should say ‘yes’ or ‘no’; there should be no ambiguity. By the time I finished praying, I had great peace.

After a restful sleep on Friday night, Saturday morning dawned with an air of anticipation. My parents, my aunt and I drove to a friend’s house, where we had agreed to meet. After a few minutes, the guy and his parents arrived too. I was relieved to see his short hair! Then, they said Daniel and I could talk in privacy and get to know each other. Sure enough, he took the lead. The first thing he said was, "Would you pray?" I was quite impressed! Wow, a man who puts God first. Then we went on to talk about our interests, jobs, values, and common friends. It turned out that we had lot more common friends than the one listed on Facebook. After a casual chat of about 15 minutes, we walked out of the room and went to where our parents were getting acquainted. I took a seat next to my mom, and she whispered to me, “Do you like him?” I said “yes”. As soon as I did, I looked over and I saw Daniel nodding a yes to his parents as well.

Wait, had I just made a life-changing decision? Yes, I had. I barely knew anything about Daniel. But I made up my mind to love him no matter what. After all, love is a decision more than an emotion. After a couple of months of courting, I pronounced at the altar, “I Do.”

Now, considering how long Daniel takes to decide, even to buy a tie, I tell him, “the quickest decision you’ve ever made is to say ‘yes’ to me”. That’s the day we met – 4th of June, 2011. And the Lord who united us continues to guide us and hold us.

Now, if you are wondering what my first biggest decision is, you can read all about it here.

Praying Rather than Preaching

Once, my parents called me over phone and shared a problem they were going through. I quickly recollected all Bible verses I knew that would apply to their situation. I preached a short sermon to my mom, and then another sermon to my dad and then hung up. As if this were not enough, I typed out another long sermon, sent it over e-mail and asked my parents to check their mailbox. They seemed the least interested in any of this. I wonder if they even read till the end of my e-mail! Frustrated, finally, I went to the Presence of the Almighty and told Him that nothing has worked out. “So, God, you take care of it.” Soon after that, I could see a positive change, not only in my parents but also in me. I no longer thought “I have to do something about it”, because I’ve casted my burden on Him! Then I realised, what they now need is not a sermon, but someone who would listen. My action at that time was contrary to James 1:19 (“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”) They just need the strength to apply the verses they already know.

That’s not the only time I did this. I love to preach to people, especially when I myself have encountered a situation similar to the one the other person is in. It is often easy to preach than to listen patiently and pray.

Often, preaching in the wrong situations only make things worse. Well, I am not against ‘preaching’. Jesus did preach; Paul preached; so do many contemporary preachers. Their sermons, for sure, do not dissolve in the air. The difference is – knowing where to preach and where to pray. Jesus knew when to tell stories, when to ask questions, when to preach, when to pray, when to perform miracles; He also knew when to remain quiet. When Jesus foretold Simon Peter’s denial, He did not preach a sermon on standing firm in the faith. Rather, He said: “...but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.” (Luke 22:32)

In another instance, someone (say ‘Z’) did something I did not like. I was tempted to make a sarcastic comment, which I knew would hurt ‘Z’. Saying that would only result in a bitter argument. I was waiting to tell ‘Z’ that I did not like what ‘Z’ did. At that time, God reminded me that I had not yet prayed about it. “Oh yes, God! Take care of it.” I prayed and with God’s strength, refrained from making that comment and even saying anything about it. A few days later, when I was talking to ‘Z’, this topic came up and I was able to convey what I wanted to, in a non-threatening way. This time, I was helping, not hurting! That’s what the Spirit of God does. After this incident, I was all excited and I was singing:

“What a friend we have in Jesus

All our sins and griefs to bear

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer

Oh what peace we often forfeit

Oh what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.”

Philippians 4:6, 7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”). ‘Anything’ and ‘every situation’ includes others’ struggles as well!

Bus without a conductor

Last weekend, I was flipping through the pages of my husband’s old journal. No, I was not sneaking... He was sitting right next to me J. I was reading in random. One of the journal entries caught my attention. This one was about a bus without a conductor. I was particularly fascinated because I’ve never been in one. However, as a kid, I used to imagine what would happen if the bus leaves before the conductor boards the bus.

My husband used to commute to office by bus. That morning, he had boarded the public bus at the busstand, to get to his office – close to 1.5 hours of travel ahead. Driver got into the bus, started it and drove a few kilometres, without realising the conductor hadn’t boarded the bus. After a while, the passengers from the back of the bus started shouting to the driver that there was no conductor! Baffled (probably also embarrassed), the driver stopped the bus, asked the passengers to get down and take a different bus to their respective destinations. He must have driven back to the busstand or waited there for the conductor to come! What more can be done in a bus without a conductor?

How often, we act like we don’t need anyone to run our lives! We think we can direct our own lives. Like a bus without a conductor can’t fulfil its purpose, life without Christ (Who is the very purpose of our living) cannot fulfil its purpose.

“... all things were created by Him and for Him” (Colossians 1:16b)

Looking for Signs?

It was a moment of ecstasy for King Solomon. “He returned to Jerusalem, stood before the ark of the Lord’s covenant and sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings. Then he gave a feast for all his court.” (I Kings 3:15b) Who wouldn’t be delighted after such an encounter with God? God appears to Solomon in a dream and asks him what he wants. You would know the rest of the story. Solomon asks God for wisdom. God is pleased with his request and grants him not only wisdom, but also riches and honour. (I Kings 3:5 – 15) Don’t we wish something similar would happen to us? We all like to experience God in a supernatural way. Of course, God does reveal Himself supernaturally to specific people in specific circumstances. Based on what? We do not know. But, it would be a mistake to measure ‘our righteousness’ based on such experiences. It is wrong to think “because I did something good, God gives me visions.”

Moreover, supernatural experiences do not guarantee obedience. “The Lord became angry with Solomon because his heart was turned away from the Lord, the God of Israel, who had appeared to him twice.” (I Kings 11:9). Or take the example of the Israelites. They rebelled against God though they witnessed miracles every day of their journey to the Promised Land.

The rich man about whom we read in Luke 16:19 – 31 thought his brothers would repent if someone from the dead tells them the Gospel. But he was wrong! “If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.” (vs. 31) All that we need to know are already revealed in the Word of God!

Others look for signs and wonders to test God. We know Jesus’ reply to that: “A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” (Matthew 16:4a)

Paul describes his supernatural experiences in II Corinthians 12:1-5. But, he chooses to boast in his weakness rather than in visions and revelations.

It is good to have supernatural experiences. But, our basis remains the Word of God and obeying His commands. “Blessed rather are those who hear the Word of God and obey it.” (Luke 11:28)

Tested and Blessed

You have 100% attendance for your classes. You’ve learnt your lessons. You even stand a chance of being the gold medallist. But, if you don’t appear for the exams, there’s no way you can even earn your degree. Without clearing your exams, you can’t move on to the next class. Neither can we mature in life unless we clear ‘tests’.

I believe God uses trials and tests as a means to bless us. That’s what we read in James 1:12. It says, “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.”

Need an example? Read Job 1:8. Note that Satan did not come up with the idea and ask for God’s approval. God offers the suggestion. Why not Job? Soon, Job lost all that he could – wealth, health, children, true friends, and loved ones. He really had a hard time. It’s scary to even imagine ourselves in his shoes. But wait, the story didn’t end there! God blessed the later part of his life more than the first (Job 42:10-16). When God handed all of Job’s possessions over to Satan (Job 1:12), and when Satan decided to do the best job with what God just handed over to him, Satan perhaps had no clue of what is to come. But God had this later part is mind when he asked Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job?” Job seems to have got this right when he said, "when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10) You have seen Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. (James 5:11)

Abraham also had to pass his test before he could be credited as the ‘father of faith’. His test? He had to lay down his only son, the one he loved (Gen 22:1, 2). He was willing to do that, just because of his simple trust and obedience. And the result? First, his son was saved. (Gen 22: 12) Then, his blessings confirmed. (Gen 22: 16, 17)

If you are going through trials and tests – which I am sure you are or you will – that’s just one more reason to rejoice! (James 1:2 – 4) If you are tested, you are going to be blessed. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith -- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed." (I Peter 1:6,7)

Whatever You Do....

Have you ever felt that hours of hard work do not pay off? You are not looking for applause, but you just want acceptance. I’ve been through it – when I work on an article for weeks and it gets dumped, when I work so passionately on an idea and it gets scraped, when I spend sleepless nights to come up with a perfect design, but someone else’s design is preferred. I do it all ‘for God’, but so much of my time and effort is wasted and that disappoints me! I’m sure you have a similar story to tell.

But such situations only clarify our motives. I learnt that I need not get my article published in order to glorify God. Whether it is published or dumped, I can still glorify God by working wholeheartedly and sincerely.

We read in Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” “Whatever you do” implies whatever you do irrespective of whether it is accepted or rejected, appreciated or criticised, noticed or unnoticed, whether it is an ‘important’ task or a ‘trivial’ one.

When we work as working for the Lord and not for men, we only need to be concerned about the process, not about the result. You don’t have to feel bad when your idea is not accepted. For God, it does not matter whether your idea is a ‘success’ or a ‘failure’. He is more concerned about the heart. So, your time and effort is not really wasted. After all, you haven’t lost your heavenly reward yet!

Me and My World Clock

I finally got it yesterday. A world clock. Not that I wanted or needed one. However, it is good to have one, because there was no clock on my desk. About a month back, I was one of the lucky winners to win a world clock as a prize. The prize was for playing an online game initiated by Cognizant. Well, that’s besides the point. When I got a mail saying that I have won a world clock, I did not really know what to expect. When the time came for me to retrieve the prize, I had to bother a few friends to get it to me. When it finally reached my hands, I carefully unwrapped it. The clock was in two parts. Common sense told me how to put them together. I did. It looked pretty good. But, the main function of the clock? To display time! It didn’t look like the clock was displaying time. The batteries were in place. The display was working. I know I have to set the time. But how? There are only three buttons on that clock. I tried to figure out how it worked. A few friends did too. We got nowhere. All three buttons seemed to function the same way! Let alone world time; I wanted at least the local time displayed on it.

Meanwhile, here’s what was going on in my mind... “Now, that clock only deserves to sit on my desk like a showpiece. Anyway, I didn’t pay anything for it. So, I’m not really losing anything. Hold on! It looks high-class. It’s Cognizant-branded. I’m sure there’s a way to make it work. May be there is. But what’s the use? I can never figure it out myself! It’s probably going to remain unused. How I wish there was a user manual!”

I gave up trying, put the clock on my desk and continued doing my work. A few people who saw it on my desk tried to figure out how it works. No success! Then I tried Google. No progress again. I was disappointed. When it was time to leave for the day and I was packing up my things, I dismantled the clock and packed it back the way it was. Whoa!! There it was – a manual. I was so excited. Yippee! I was going to figure out how it works. On my way back from work, I started reading the manual. There was so much I could do with it – view the time of 25 different cities, set 3 alarms, use the countdown, the timer and a few other options. That’s when I realised I could never have done any of that without the manual. I was so glad there was a user manual. As I used the manual, I had no difficulty following the steps. After doing it a few times, I can now set the time or set an alarm without referring to the manual for the steps. Now, it’s a functional world clock on my desk.

I couldn’t help but think how it is very similar with life. We try this and that. We think we are doing the right. But we don’t seem to get anywhere. Certain things work well with common sense. But there are a lot of things in life that we can understand only when we read our life’s manual. You wish there is something like that? There is! Don’t know where? Read the Bible. That indeed gives the whole perspective to life. Unless you know what life is all about, you will remain like an unused showpiece sitting pretty, not doing what you were really created to do!