The Best Time to Pray

 At times, when I listen to a sermon, I drift into resolution mode. Not on New Years’, no special occasion, and most often the preacher is not asking for a commitment, but I start thinking to myself, I need to spend more time in prayer and Bible reading. So, the sermon has really done what it is supposed to, hasn’t it? And then I also resolve to wake up early in the morning, so I can spend uninterrupted time in prayer and meditating on the Word of God. Some preachers even spell it out: early mornings are the best times to pray. Wake up early in the morning and spend a couple of hours praying. Woo! I love the idea. And here I am, all pumped up, ready to wake up at 5:30 the next morning. The night before, I set my alarm to 5:30, and I try to get to bed early, so I would get enough rest. Some days I succeed, other days, not so much. Even if I manage to get to bed on time, I am turning and tossing on the bed, because I am not used to sleeping at that hour. The alarm rings the next morning, and my body doesn’t quite like the idea of getting out of bed yet. I try again the next day, and the next, and then I give up. If I do manage to do some early mornings, I get distracted easily or doze off in prayer.

This cycle has repeated more times than I can count. I do pray, at least once a day, but my best times with God have not usually been in the wee hours of the day. Some days, I have been foolish enough to think, if I miss one morning, the next best time to come before God is the next morning. I am not denying the value of early morning quiet or an intentional time. As a stay-at-home mom, I know the demands of my day can easily pull my attention from one thing to another, before I realize I haven’t sat with God. So setting aside an intentional time is definitely valuable.

But, my view of prayer changes when I look at it as not a mere religious duty that I would either feel proud of fulfilling or feel guilty of missing. At some of my low moments, I have wondered if my entire relationship with the Lord hinges on my ability to wake up early in the morning. And then I remember His invitation is open, even to me, at any time of the day or night! "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Jesus clarifies (in v30) that He is referring to rest for our souls. And I think the 'heavy burden' mentioned here represents the man-made religious duties we so struggle to check off the list. Let me explain how I got that. When Jesus rebukes the scribes and Pharisees at a different time, He says: "They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders." (Matthew 23:4). From the context of Matthew 23, it is clear that Jesus was talking about religious obligations that are imposed by religious leaders, not by God's Word.

Of course, prayer is not imposed by people, but a beautiful privilege God has opened up for all His people to talk to Him. In fact, Paul exhorts believers to pray continually (I Thess. 5:17)! But, when our good desire for an intentional time becomes a burden, prayer turns out to be a dull duty rather than a relationship-refresher. So when is the best time to pray? Morning? Evening? Late night? And my answer is, right now! Pray to him right now, as you are reading, as you are working, as you are convicted of that sin, as you realize you need His help. His ears are always open to our call. What a privilege!

Finally, a couple of practical tips for those of you like me, who have a hard time staying focussed while praying: I keep my eyes open while praying. Sounds contrary to what we've been told, but when I close my eyes, I find the chances are higher for my mind to stray elsewhere or even doze off. Another thing I have found helpful is writing down what I pray for. It is usually a list, but sometimes it could spin off to a poem of praise or a paragraph of prayer. What are some practical tips you would like to share? Please mention in the Comments section.

After Much Anticipation....

It was a time of waiting. For what, you ask? For the birth of our baby – second baby, to be precise. Well, the doctors had estimated a ‘due date’ for the baby. But, three weeks before the due date, the baby is considered full term and he could be born anytime. I didn’t think much about the ‘waiting’ part till I was in it myself. (By the way, our first son John arrived four weeks earlier than his due date, much before I even started waiting.)

The anticipation peaked when I started noticing signs that the baby is getting ready for birth. Signs are supposed to make it easy, aren’t they? True, but I had been having false pains for about a month. May be, that’s not a good enough sign. How about the baby’s position? He was in birth position for about four weeks. When the due date was about 2 and a half weeks away, the doctor examined me and said the baby could be born any time. Now, that brings up a lot of things for me, and for us as a family. For one, I was excited that I am closer to holding my little one. Plus there are the preparations to be done. The hospital bag was packed. A day went by. I almost spent that day sitting in the couch waiting for signs of labor pain. No signs! May be, that’s not the way to wait. I decided to carry on with my regular chores – not that I could do much carrying a precious person inside my bulging belly.

That reminded me of how we should wait for the Lord’s second coming. We are not to sit lazily and keep looking at the sky, but we ought to work diligently. If the master returns and finds that the servant has done a good job, there will be a reward. I tell you the truth, the master will put that servant in charge of all he owns. But what if the servant is evil and thinks, ‘My master won’t be back for a while,’ and he begins beating the other servants, partying, and getting drunk? The master will return unannounced and unexpected, and he will cut the servant to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Matthew 24:46 – 51)

The next morning, my husband Daniel had to decide whether to go to work or work from home. He can’t keep telling his employer that the baby is going to be born soon. ‘Soon’ could be anything from a day to a week, or even a couple of weeks! If he goes to work and I am in labor, it might take a lot of time for him to drive back home and then take me to the hospital. Reluctantly, he got ready to go to work. John and I waved him bye. As I was wondering what I would do if the baby arrives today, I just turned that thought into prayer, committing into His Hands who knows all! In a few minutes, Daniel came back, because the car wouldn’t start. Wow! That was a quick answer to prayer. Immediately, we felt it was going to happen today. But, we had to get the car working first. The battery had to be replaced, and it was done in an hour. So, Daniel ended up working from home that day. But no signs of labor. That was a little disappointing because of all the anticipation.

I had some pain in the evening, but I had read enough on the topic to dismiss it as false labor pains. Apparently, the main difference is that real labor pains are rhythmic, while false pains are random in intensity and timing. Soon, the pain subsided and I went to bed at night. I was woken up early in the morning by painful contractions. I did what I had been accustomed to do in the last few weeks. I noted the time of each contraction. One hour went by, and the contractions were exactly five minutes apart. I waited for a few more minutes, and did what the doctor had instructed me to do. “Call when the contractions are five minutes apart for one hour,” she had said. Soon, we rushed to the hospital – Daniel, John and I – in the wee hours of the day. We had to figure out our way in – because some doors were locked at that time of the day – stopping at a couple of places, asking for directions. Oh, but wait, the pains had subsided by then. False alarm?

Yes it was, as the doctor soon confirmed. But, how am I to know when it’s real labor pain? I followed the instructions, and I was looking for the signs. “Call when the contractions are five minutes apart for one hour,” the doctor confirmed. “We can examine you and confirm if it is the real thing or not.” We went back home with all the hospital bags we had brought! Daniel took the day off and we took a good nap.

The same evening I had some pain again, and we went to the doctor’s office. Again, it was false alarm. Next time, the doctor asked me to wait till the pain continues for 2 hours. By this time, I was getting embarrassed about creating a scene each time. Getting the three of us into the car to go the doctor in this cold weather, with so many winter clothes on, was no fun. I resolved not to wake up Daniel even if I have pain again, and I continued with my regular chores – cooking, cleaning, etc. I tried to ignore all about the ‘waiting’ and went to bed. Early in the morning, about 4:15 AM, I woke up in pain again. Not again, I thought!! But this time, I did not even get up from bed. I just picked up my phone and noted the time each time I had a painful contraction. They were about 3 minutes apart, and the pain was intense. Well, yesterday too, I thought the pain was intense. I didn’t want to look like a drama queen again. So I kept quiet, but Daniel woke up and caught me rolling in pain. After waiting for one and a half hours (the pain was getting very intense), we called the doctor and rushed to the hospital. The temperature outside was 2^o F – the coldest I had ever witnessed in my life!

I knew the baby would be born in a few hours, and we had to get to the hospital soon. Thankfully, the hospital is just a few minutes’ drive from home. I walked (yes, in the middle of active labor!) from the hospital entrance to the labor room. I needed no directions, for I had walked the same route just yesterday! Everyone who saw me on the way knew I was in labor – the look on my face was enough to say it.

I entered the labor room at 6:30. It was 6:59 when I was holding little Jeremy in my arms. The day was the 08th of January. What a joy it was to behold a little human being, handcrafted by God! It was as if there was a lot of wait, and just when I had given up the wait, he was born suddenly. The birth was so sudden that we didn’t even have the time to find someone to look after our first son, and he ended up being in the labor room to welcome his little brother!

One of the nurses who was helping me during the labor asked if we have a garage where we park the car. When I said no, she expressed surprise that our car had even started that morning, considering how cold it was. When I told her we had changed the battery just two days back, she was even more surprised and agreed that it was a miracle. Yes, it was! Though we didn’t understand all about the waiting, we later realized that God was at work.

Coincidence or not, one of those days, I came across this verse as I was reading my Bible: “For you know quite well that the day of the Lord’s return will come unexpectedly, like a thief in the night. When people are saying, “Everything is peaceful and secure,” then disaster will fall on them as suddenly as a pregnant woman’s labor pains begin. And there will be no escape.” (I Thessalonians 5:2) I couldn’t help but notice the commonalities in waiting for the baby and waiting for the return of the Lord! Come soon, Lord Jesus!!

God, Are You Really with Me?

Last month, we walked out of our apartment leasing office praising God for a miracle. Yes, we had just received an offer to lease a 2 bedroom apartment, for almost the same rent we are now paying for a 1 bedroom apartment. The new apartment is in the same block we are in now (we hadn't even requested for it), so moving would be easier. Moreover, we have been offered to make the move in December. We don‘t have to wait till January when our current lease expires. That works for us, since we are also expecting our second baby in January. We hadn't toiled much to end up with this deal. We did one thing – we committed to the Lord in prayer, and asked for His guidance and wisdom.

On days like this, it is easy to "see" God’s Presence and guidance, isn’t it? But, you see, with all that life brings across our path, we are not always singing ‘Hallelujah!’

We walked out of the same apartment leasing office a few months back, praising God for a miracle. But that day was quite different.

It was the month of July. My husband Daniel, son John and I had arrived at the John F Kennedy airport in New York, from India, with at least 6 luggage bags. We had a reservation for a hotel in a locality where some of Daniel‘s colleagues resided. Waiting outside the airport, we handed the hotel address to the taxi driver, and he nodded his head in unbelief. “I can‘t go that far,” he said. “It‘s a different part of the state, and it is going to cost you a lot.” Well, we had no other option. So we requested him to go. Then he looked at our luggage bags, and decided they are not going to fit in the taxi. Finally, we ended up in another taxi. That driver was not a technology user, you see. So, he had no GPS or smartphone. We had just landed in the country, and we had no internet on our phones either. We went for a long ride in that taxi, not sure if he was headed in the right direction. The driver did stop in many gas stations (or petrol bunks) to ensure that. After many detours and returns, we ended up at the hotel. “Finally!” we sighed, only to find out that Daniel‘s debit card was not working, because we had been outside the country for a couple of months. How do we pay for the taxi now? We didn’t have enough cash on us. He called the bank to unlock the debit card. As the taxi driver was starting to get impatient about driving all the way back in the pouring rain, the payment just got through. We checked into the hotel room, which was to be our ‘home’ for the next few days. Grateful for shelter, we retired into a good night’s rest.

Now that we have arrived in the country, we had to look for an apartment to move into. After inquiring in a few apartment communities, the only available apartment was in Danbury, Connecticut. The earliest we could move in was after a week. The day came when we could move into the apartment. It was a Friday. We planned to rent a car, so that Daniel could go to work from the hotel (a 40-minute drive away), and then pick us up along with the luggage at noon and move to the new apartment in Danbury. We knew it was going to be a hectic day, but things didn’t go as planned, which made it all the more chaotic. Daniel got to the rental car center, but he was denied a rental car, because he didn’t have a credit card. He managed to get to work, because a helpful colleague offered a ride. In the afternoon, Daniel had a hard time finding a taxi to hire. When he was finally able to get one, it was about time for us to check out of the hotel. Our toddler son and I were waiting in the hotel room, as we kept getting calls from the hotel’s reception desk that it was time for us to leave! Soon, our access cards were deactivated too. Now, our next challenge was to find a taxi that could accommodate our luggage bags and take us to Danbury. And Daniel was still on his way to the hotel.

With all that going on, I began to wonder if we are even heading in the right direction. I mean, was it even God’s plan for us to come to New York? Or, did we miss something? I know God allows difficulties, but I wanted to be sure we are in the center of His will. I began to tell God that if we move into the apartment today, I would take it as a sign that we are walking in His will. Things didn’t get any easier after that. Daniel did arrive after a few minutes, and the hotel charged us for an extra day, because we exceeded the check-out time. But, the good thing is that the same taxi driver agreed to drive us to Danbury. We could fit all but one of our luggage bags (we had to leave one bag at Daniel’s colleague’s home and pick it up later) in the taxi.

Just as we were about to feel relieved, we got a call from the apartment community to let us know that they were closing the office at 5. It was already 4, and the place is about an hour’s drive away. So, if the drive is uneventful, we would reach just on time. Sitting in the taxi with all of our luggage in the trunk, we were wondering if we would even make it today. The apartment office would be closed in the weekend, and we would have to wait for two more days if we miss by a few minutes. That would mean a lot of expenses for the hotel room, food, taxi, etc. and we wanted to move into a ‘home’ we could call ours.

As were nearing Danbury, we realized we were not going to reach by 5. There was heavy traffic on our route. Daniel called the apartment office and requested them to wait for a little longer. After much pleading, the lady finally agreed to wait for 15 more minutes. But that didn’t seem sufficient too. She said she had to leave and told us to wait till Monday to move in. I almost decided that we are probably not heading in the right direction, and we needed some course correction. And, where will we stay for the night?? Meanwhile, Daniel was on the phone. Suddenly, his ‘please’ was replaced by ‘thank you’. What happened? The lady suddenly changed her decision and agreed to leave the keys with another staff who lived in the same apartment community. Praise the Lord!

That was when the Lord’s still small voice reminded that He is with us, no matter what! Oh, yes, He has promised that, and how can I forget it? “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:2) It is easy to believe the Lord’s Presence when things are going great, but it doesn’t seem so real when life takes some unexpected twists and turns. But, inconveniences don’t change the fact that He is with us. Even if we had taken a wrong step – I mean, not a deliberate rebellion, but a mistake – His Presence is still something we can count on. I was reminded again of Psalm 23:2 - 4 (“He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”)

I'm Now a Mom!

Me, a mom?? Hard to believe. It was as if yesterday when I was a carefree kid. But it’s been four months since I officially became the mother of a cute little guy!! John Baruch made his entry into the world on December 13th, 2012. He was expected to be born four weeks later. But God’s timings are different from ours.

It was my 36-week scheduled doctor visit. Danny had taken permission from office to take me to the doctor during his lunch break. As soon as I entered the hospital, my bag of waters broke (which means labour is near). The doctor examined me and I was admitted in the hospital for labour. Isn’t it too early? I am not even full-term. As Danny and I sat there that afternoon, recollecting all that had been happening, we knew God’s timings are perfect and He had been preparing us for that day. Not just us. Even our home was all set for the arrival of our little one. The crib was ready, so were his clothes and the car seat. We had even bought diapers. It surprises me that we were so prepared four weeks in advance, more so since Danny usually prefers doing things at the last minute. Friends had gifted us a variety of baby things. Yeah, friends whom we had known for hardly eight months in this foreign country!

In a few hours, I’ll be delivering the baby, how did we feel? Of course, it was a mixture of feelings. But if I have to point to one, we knew that God is in perfect control. It was just the two of us at the hospital. My mom was supposed to come in another two weeks, but her first grandson decided to come earlier.

Rewind to ‘one year back’…

A few months into our marriage, I came across this Bible passage in Luke 1:16-18. It’s about John the Baptist. (“He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”) As I read this, I just prayed that the Lord would give us a child like that – one who would bring many people to the Lord. On New Year’s Day, as the church service was going on, Daniel looked at me and said, “We are going to have a child this year.” Months passed, and it was in the month of May that we found I was pregnant.

That brought mixed feelings in me – Excitement, joy, fear, anxiety. How am I going to go through the childbirth part? I’ve heard much about the ‘unbearable labour pain’. When I cringe in other kinds of pain, I’ve sometimes had older women ask me, “if you are not able to bear this pain, how are going to bear labour pain?” I too had that question in mind. Early in my pregnancy, I had to make a choice. I will have to worry about the impending labour pain for the rest of my pregnancy or cast my worry on the Lord and just enjoy the pregnancy moment by moment. But, I didn’t know what to pray for. Should I pray for a painless delivery or a shorter labour? The verse which says, “By thee have I been holden up from the womb; thou are he that took me out of my mother’s bowels: my praise shall be continually of thee.” (Psalm 71:6) was a great encouragement. Now, I knew what to pray for. I just asked that God’s Presence would be real during the delivery.

Whenever I was faced with questions, discouragement or physical weakness, it was God’s Word that uplifted me. I learnt some of my pregnancy lessons from the life of Elizabeth, John’s mom. Some people who prayed over me quoted verses about John the Baptist. I just thought to myself that our baby should be named John, if it’s a boy. When we found out we’re having a boy, we decided to name him ‘John’. Danny suggested ‘Baruch’ after the scribe of prophet Jeremiah.

12/12/12 was the day I was admitted in the hospital. It was around 9 PM, when I started to feel the pain, though contractions had begun in the afternoon (pardon me, if you are not familiar with these terms. Anyway, it might be good to know them. Perhaps, it will be of use later on). In the hospital, women in labour are offered an epidural (pain relieving medicine injected into the spine). Most women take an epidural. Though I am not against taking an epidural, Danny had encouraged me that I could do it naturally with God’s strength. I had told my nurses that I don’t want an epidural; but I might change my mind about that. The pain started getting intense. Danny stood by me, encouraging me, playing Praise and Worship music, praying and reciting Scripture verses. I kept asking the nurses, “how much longer will it take?” As the pain started increasing, I had a thought about taking some kind of pain relief. Just then the nurse examined me and said I am almost ready to deliver. If it’s going to be just some more time, why bother with the pain medication? Then came the long awaited moment at 01:08 AM – and there he was! A little squealing human being drenched in blood and fluids. Tears of joy filled my eyes as all those moments of pain just faded away in the joy of holding my little baby.

On the day of birth

Four months have gone by so quickly, and it’s fun being a mom – though it’s not very easy. Trusting in the Lord to help me be the godly mom that He wants me to be, not a perfect super-mom that I wish I could be!!

A recent picture

“... That They May Be One”

Before Danny and I moved to the US, one of the things we prayed for is that we would get to be part of a “good” church. I remember someone asking us if we plan to go to an ‘Indian church’ or a ‘white church’. We said we were ready to go just wherever the Lord leads us. Of course, at that point, we didn’t really know what those titles meant. On our first Sunday in the United States, we googled for the nearest church and we went there. We walked about 20 minutes and reached Grace Outreach Center, a non-denominational, multi-cultural church. We could actually see people from different nations and different cultures attending church and also serving in the church. Though we hardly saw Indians that day, we were so comfortable there. Nobody stared at us as strangers, instead so many of them welcomed us warmly to the church.

Now, as we have become members of Grace Outreach Center and as we get to know more people personally, we get asked a lot of questions about our culture and our faith in Christ. But at the end of our conversation, we realise that we can identify with each other because we share this unique relationship with Christ. Our skin colour is different; we have cultural differences; we think differently, but because we are washed by the blood of Jesus, we have the same purpose; we have the same values and priorities. It’s a beautiful picture of the Body of Christ that people from different nations come together to worship Him. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)

I believe this is just a small glimpse of what heaven will be like, when nations and tribes stand in God’s Presence in unison. “After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb.” (Revelation 7:9)

Across the globe, God speaks to His people through His powerful, unchanging Word. It amazes me to think that God’s Word, which was written centuries ago, is still relevant to everyone, irrespective of culture, nation and time period.

On the other hand, it pains me to see ‘exclusive churches’. We have created divisions in the Church for the sake of denominations, nationalities, languages and even castes (at least the caste doesn’t feature in the name of the church)! ‘Korean church’ or ‘African church’ or ‘Indian church’, for example, is an oxymoron! In a way, isn’t that racism within the Church? A church is supposed to be inclusive of everyone. Of course, such churches might exist for different purposes and I am not to judge their motives. But if we can work, ride and shop with people from other countries, what stops us from worshipping God together with people from other countries? “But, there’s the language barrier, especially for those who are new to church” you may say. You might want to read again what happened on the day of Pentecost:

“Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. Utterly amazed, they asked: “Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language? Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Lybia near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs – we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” (Acts 2:5-11) That’s the power of God! They didn’t each have a church in their own language. People speaking different languages came together as one. For these foreigners, it would have been like it would be for me to hear an American preach or testify in Tamil! But, that’s the way the Spirit of God works when we come together in unity. So, instead of human methods, let us allow the work of God's Spirit.

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who believe in me through their message that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.” (John 17:20,21) Why don’t you and I be the answer to Jesus’ heartfelt prayer? As believers in the Lord Jesus, let us stand united. Let the One thing that unites us be the Blood of Jesus Christ, not just denomination, language, nationality, native place, caste or any other man-made interests.

All the Way to Texas...

28 February

Yet another car ride along the GST Road, from our house at SP Koil (near Chengalpet) to my husband’s parents’ house at Vadapalani, Chennai. We have travelled this road almost every weekend for the last 6 months. But, this time, it is different. All our ‘belongings’ are bundled and fitted in a mini-truck that’s going along the same road, but in a slower pace. I look for our house key just to make sure it’s safe (as I usually do) and I realise we’ve given up that rented house. We are going to stay with Danny’s parents. For how long? We don’t know. For Danny, staying in Vadapalani meant travelling at least an hour and a half to office and another hour and a half back home. But why are we moving? Well, that’s one question we had to answer repeatedly. And the answer: Our US visas are being processed by Danny’s company for Danny to work for a project onsite and I will be accompanying him. When will be travelling? We don’t know. From what we hear, we are expecting it to happen in a week or two.

01 March

Our US visa interview is scheduled for 15th March. That’s two weeks from now. Well, by our
20 March

From early this morning, I have severe toothache. So I check with the dentist and the dentist suggests extraction of my wisdom tooth, that is in the process of coming out. I am started on antibiotics to reduce the pain and swelling. I am thanking God that our visa interview was cancelled. Otherwise, we would have been preparing for our travel now.

In the evening, we get an e-mail indicating our new visa interview appointment on the 3rd of April. To accommodate the delay in the travel date, Danny has moved to a different track in his project, where he will be replacing another onsite person. This person, who will be leaving Plano, Texas has offered to sub-lease his apartment to us. Otherwise we would have to go there and then hunt for a house. So, we gladly agree. That gives us yet another reason to thank God for the delayed trip. The house is ready even before our visa! What can we say? That’s how the Lord works.

23 March

After three days of suffering with toothache, Danny takes me to the dentist and my tooth is extracted easily. Considering the severe pain I experience and the different diet pattern I have to follow, I am thanking God we are not in the US or in SP Koil, where we would have been by ourselves. Since we are with Maama (father-in-law) and Athai (mother-in-law), they take good care of me. In fact, Maama was the one who took me to the dentist three days back. If things had worked according to our earlier calculation, we would have been travelling around this time. Thank God the trip is delayed!

03 April

Today is the visa interview. With all documents in hand and knowing that God’s way surpasses all human effort, we appear for the interview. Danny is asked a couple of basic questions about his education and we are told that our visas are approved. It was over in less than a minute. Finally! After the long wait, we now have some answer for our friends and family. We thank God for one more step forward and we start preparing for our travel. Now the next question... When do we have to travel? Our guess was 9th or 10th of April. With that, I start calling up family and friends and telling them the news.

08 April

Our preparations for the travel are on full swing. Our purchases are almost done. My parents and sister want to come and see us off. But, when would they plan to come? We don’t know the dates yet! My mother’s students are doing their board exams and she needs to be present with them (at least for the subject she teaches). She needs to be told at least two days in advance so that they can plan accordingly. Nevertheless, they decide to come on Tuesday afternoon and leave Wednesday early morning. That’s the only convenient slot for them. Irrespective of when our travel would be, they would spend some time with us. Of course, they and we would love them to see us off at the airport. But, in the given situation, this is the best we could do.

We do our final lap of shopping today. We end up waiting for an hour in the queue to bill our purchase. We come out of the supermarket grumbling about the poor service and the lethargic staff, only to realise that I’ve lost my mobile phone! The phone is gone along with all the contacts stored in it. Thankfully, I had written down a few important phone numbers on a notebook just a couple of days back. At the end of the day, we look back and see uncertainty all over. But, we choose to believe the unseen – My redeemer lives! Danny reminded me to read Habakkuk 3:17-19. After all, our situation is nothing compared to that!

10 April

My parents and sister arrive in the afternoon and I have a good time with them. Tired of calling Danny again and again asking him if there is any progress, I decide to stop calling him because the answer is always negative or unsure. Around 2 PM, Danny tells me that we might have to take the flight that departs early tomorrow morning. But still, it is not confirmed. Anyway, now that the packing is done, I am prepared for anything. “Just give me an hour’s notice for me to get everything ready” I tell him. By 7 PM, Danny tells me that the tickets are booked and the flight is at 3:30 AM tomorrow. We have to leave home around 12:30 AM. Quickly, I get things ready for our departure. My eyes are filled with tears of joy at the way the Lord works. My parents and sister are here at exactly the right time, though none of us knew it would work out this way.

11 April

We land at Dallas, Texas after a long journey. We exclaim at His grace with grateful hearts “How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.” (Psalm 31:19)

I would love to explain in detail how the Lord is leading and providing for us here in the US. But, since it’s already been a long post, I choose to wind up.

Though we don’t understand why God allows certain things, we trust and believe Him because the Word of God says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) Some things make sense at a later point in life. Many others, we will perhaps understand only when we reach the other shore! Let us trust Him and wait for Him in all circumstances.

Before You Point Your Fingers...

“He’s a liar”
“She gossips a lot”
“Why can’t he be more patient?”
"Why does she have such a bad temper?”

At times, it is easier for us to point out the faults of others, but not so easy to see similar or worse faults in ourselves. King David has been there too. You’re asking “when”? Observe his response to prophet Nathan. The man who took the ewe lamb that belonged to a poor man deserves to die, whereas David himself can get away with murder and adultery. He burned in anger against this fictitious character (II Samuel 12:5), not realising that his own actions were worse. When David later realised his sin, he was quick to repent but he wished that the Lord would be gracious to him (II Samuel 12:22).

Often, we are gentle when dealing with our sins, but hard on others. We plead to God for mercy when we have sinned; but when someone else sins, we label them as a ‘sinner’. God hates it when we receive forgiveness but fail to forgive others. (Matthew 18:23 – 35) Jesus teaches us to treat others the way we ourselves would want to be treated. (Matthew 6:14,15; 7:2, 12) "... you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things." (Romans 2:1)

Now, don’t yet resolve that you will never again correct another person. That’s not what the Word of God teaches. “...first, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5) You can’t let that speck remain in your brother’s eye! You need to remove it, but only after you have removed the plank in your own eye.

This person had agreed to e-mail me something I had asked for, by Monday. It was Monday, but the e-mail didn’t come. I waited for a few more days. No e-mail still. I sent a reminder e-mail. No reply to that, either. Two weeks went by. I did not get the e-mail. “Now, that’s not right. How can this person promise to do something and not do it? Or, why not call me or send me a message saying that they couldn’t send it? Well, I am not angry with this person. But, I am ‘concerned’. Oh, this person must learn to keep a promise.” I was all set to talk to this person about obeying Matthew 5:37 (“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘yes’, and your ‘no’, ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”) and Psalm 15:4b (“... who keeps his oath even when it hurts.”) I was quite prepared on what I wanted to say. I had been working on it for a few days, of course, with prayer. 

But, just before I could do this ‘talk’, God reminded me of the numerous times I had failed to keep my word! Now, that was scary. What could I do, but to simply count on His grace? There was a tremendous, almost instant, change in my attitude. Our discussion did happen. It turned out to be more helpful than accusatory. Only after the discussion did I come to know that e-mail was not this person’s preferred mode of communication.

The key is to focus on how merciful God has been to us. After all, Christ loves us sinners, sinless as He is!

My Second Biggest Decision!!

It was a Wednesday night. When I was about to hit the bed after a long day at work, I got a call from my dad. It was quite unusual for him to call at that time. What was he going to say? He didn’t take too long to get to the point. There was a marriage proposal for me. The guy’s parents had heard about me from a common friend and they thought I would be a suitable life partner for him. That’s how it usually works in our culture -- arranged marriage, as it is called. My dad went on to say a little about him. His name is Daniel; he works with Infosys, and he is a spiritual person. My dad had spoken to me about other marriage proposals before. They didn’t work out for some reason or the other. So, I didn’t take it too seriously this time either. But I had to give him some answer. I said I would pray about it.

Then I quickly opened his Facebook profile on my phone. There wasn’t much activity on his Facebook page, but he had a profile picture. He was a guy with a pleasant face and curly long hair tied in a pony. Long hair? Hmmm... not exaclty my taste. I was not too sure what to think of him. But, I made a note of our one mutual friend and decided to talk to her. Then, I prayed that if this is the person I should marry, then it would happen; if not, I prayed that it would somehow be stopped. With that, I slept.

The next morning, my dad e-mailed me his picture. Well, in this one, he had short hair and a pleasant smiling face. I was hoping he has short hair now. I also reasoned that his profile picture on Facebook is probably not up to date, since he did not seem to be active on Facebook anyway. Then I called our mutual friend and asked her about Daniel. She said they were colleagues and he is a very nice person. Alright, that's good, but I can't make up my mind either way yet!

Soon, I got another call from dad and he asked if it would be fine for me to meet the person and talk to him on Saturday. What? In two more days? I was not sure I was ready for it. I had just heard his name for the first time yesterday! I could see that my parents were very excited about the marriage proposal. They had their reasons. The guy’s family had said that they would not take a dowry, which is traditionally a huge amount of money the bride’s family would have to pay the groom’s family at the time of marriage. That was proof that they are not money-minded people and they respect people for who they are. Finally, I agreed for our meeting on Saturday, because I didn't have a good reason to say no.

I did not yet have much reason to be as excited as my parents were, but I continued to pray. I had always thought that I would ask a lot of questions before I would agree to marry a guy. I wanted to find out everything about him before I would say “yes”. Here was my time to do what I had always wanted to do. Or was it? On Friday night, when I read my Bible, I came upon this verse in Philippians 2:3, 4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.” That struck me hard and realigned my perspective of marriage. I realized that marriage is not about finding someone who would fit into my expectations, but the process of me weaving into his life and being a part of God's kingdom together. That was a game changer for me. I decided not to take my notepad to the ‘interview’, after all. I would let him talk and see how it goes. My prayer was that at the end of the meeting, God would make it clear to me whether I should say ‘yes’ or ‘no’; there should be no ambiguity. By the time I finished praying, I had great peace.

After a restful sleep on Friday night, Saturday morning dawned with an air of anticipation. My parents, my aunt and I drove to a friend’s house, where we had agreed to meet. After a few minutes, the guy and his parents arrived too. I was relieved to see his short hair! Then, they said Daniel and I could talk in privacy and get to know each other. Sure enough, he took the lead. The first thing he said was, "Would you pray?" I was quite impressed! Wow, a man who puts God first. Then we went on to talk about our interests, jobs, values, and common friends. It turned out that we had lot more common friends than the one listed on Facebook. After a casual chat of about 15 minutes, we walked out of the room and went to where our parents were getting acquainted. I took a seat next to my mom, and she whispered to me, “Do you like him?” I said “yes”. As soon as I did, I looked over and I saw Daniel nodding a yes to his parents as well.

Wait, had I just made a life-changing decision? Yes, I had. I barely knew anything about Daniel. But I made up my mind to love him no matter what. After all, love is a decision more than an emotion. After a couple of months of courting, I pronounced at the altar, “I Do.”

Now, considering how long Daniel takes to decide, even to buy a tie, I tell him, “the quickest decision you’ve ever made is to say ‘yes’ to me”. That’s the day we met – 4th of June, 2011. And the Lord who united us continues to guide us and hold us.

Now, if you are wondering what my first biggest decision is, you can read all about it here.

This is my story...

Proud, argumentative, disobedient, talkative, quarrelsome – These were some of my labels when I was in school. Contrast these labels with the award I was given when I graduated from college – ‘Best outgoing student with Exemplary Behaviour’. Sounds totally discrepant? Not because any of those labels were incorrect. Certainly, I have become a completely different person. How did I change? Well, that’s a story.

I was born in a Christian family to an engineer and a dietician, which my parents were. As a child, I remember talking to the Lord, and listening to Him. I related to God as my dear Father. Later, our family moved to a village where God called my parents for full-time ministry. No electricity, no proper roof for the house. Through it all, the One Who called remained faithful. Even in Dharmapuri, the most backward district in Tamil Nadu, God helped me to study in a good school.

After Class 5, I slowly started moving away from the Lord. This loving Father I had known all along suddenly became irrelevant to me. Without a relationship with Jesus, I could only sin. I chose to move away from my Source of strength. And the result? My life was full of fights, quarrels, arguments, and the list could go on. I felt unloved. My marks started going down the drain. I even failed in one subject when I was in Class 6. I have helped classmates write love letters. Whenever I argued against my parents or disobeyed them, I would be punished. Good for nothing. Not to forget, I was regular in Bible reading, prayer and in attending church. But, I didn’t relate to God through all these. I hated myself, because I could not get better, with the best of my efforts. I will be good today, I would decide. And the next moment, I would end up feeling guilty for doing something wrong. Most nights, I would go to bed weeping feeling bad about myself. But, my Maker had not given up on me.

One such night, when I was in Class 7, I was weeping as usual. Looking back, I realised how far I had gone from the God who loved me. Jesus loves me, He died for my sin – I knew it all. But I had not lived it. That night, I started confessing my sins to Jesus. I asked Jesus to wash away my sins, and I began to trust the power of the blood Jesus shed for me on the cross. I asked Him to forgive me and take control of my life. I hated the way I had been living.

Then, life started changing. There was a U-turn in my behaviour. From Class 8, I stood first in class. Two years later, I was baptised by my dad, who is now a pastor. God started using this ‘good for nothing’ person. God filled me with gifts and talents, so that I could do His work.

I started leading worship in church when I was in Class 9. Not because I had great voice. In fact, my voice was bad. I was given a lot of suggestions. My dad suggested that I pray about it and practice regularly, like another worship leader did. I liked the idea, but I lacked the discipline to practice regularly. At one point, God reminded me that I hadn’t surrendered my voice to Him, yet. I used to listen to harmless secular songs, occasionally. As I surrendered my voice to God, I made a commitment that I would sing only to glorify God. I stopped listening to secular songs. Now and then, I would be tempted to listen to secular songs. After all, they do no harm. But, God helps me overcome such temptations. Then, something amazing happened. My voice improved! But, by then God had taught me that worship is not about the quality of my voice, but about my relationship with the Lord. I no longer care how well I sing, or how well I play the guitar. Worship is all about God, not about me.

After Class 12, I had to decide which college and which course I should choose. My friends and teachers thought I was really crazy to choose Visual Communication. Their reason – you have marks ‘good enough’ for engineering. Neither I nor my parents wanted my marks to decide the field I should choose. I decided on Visual Communication because I wanted to be a writer. I joined Bishop Appasamy College, Coimbatore, and I was excited about the course, the college, and all that I was learning. But, it took me more than two years to feel comfortable in my class. I enjoyed everything else in college, except my class. I felt left out, because my classmates thought I was too outdated, and I didn’t know how to have ‘fun’.

When I finished college, I was confident of getting a job as a journalist, because I had freelanced as a reporter with The Hindu for two years. But, God had different plans. I joined Cognizant as an instructional designer in August 2008. I had absolutely no plans of joining an IT company. When I first stepped into Cognizant, I had so many fears. How will I even survive in such a competitive world? How will I cope up with people who are much more intelligent and smarter than me? I finished my training and I was one of the first to be allotted to projects. My turn for the personal feedback session came. Among other things, my trainer said, “Your core values are good, and I believe that is because of your religious belief.” Well, it is because of the One who has chosen me. I got an e-mail the other day, saying I have topped the overall training performance in my batch. Something I expected the least! Looking back, the only thing I can see is God’s grace. I really don’t deserve anything.

I spend a lot of time chatting with my parents, sister and friends. We talk about God and we share all that God has been doing in each of our lives. That has certainly built me up, as we learn from each other what God has been teaching. This is one thing I like about my church – the one my dad pastors – the weekly time of testimony, where we share about all that God spoke to us in the past week. There have been confessions, words of encouragement, instruction and edification. I praise God for all that He has taught me and the people He has brought into my life. To put it in a nutshell, He is still working on me.