Before You Point Your Fingers...

“He’s a liar”
“She gossips a lot”
“Why can’t he be more patient?”
"Why does she have such a bad temper?”

At times, it is easier for us to point out the faults of others, but not so easy to see similar or worse faults in ourselves. King David has been there too. You’re asking “when”? Observe his response to prophet Nathan. The man who took the ewe lamb that belonged to a poor man deserves to die, whereas David himself can get away with murder and adultery. He burned in anger against this fictitious character (II Samuel 12:5), not realising that his own actions were worse. When David later realised his sin, he was quick to repent but he wished that the Lord would be gracious to him (II Samuel 12:22).

Often, we are gentle when dealing with our sins, but hard on others. We plead to God for mercy when we have sinned; but when someone else sins, we label them as a ‘sinner’. God hates it when we receive forgiveness but fail to forgive others. (Matthew 18:23 – 35) Jesus teaches us to treat others the way we ourselves would want to be treated. (Matthew 6:14,15; 7:2, 12) "... you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things." (Romans 2:1)

Now, don’t yet resolve that you will never again correct another person. That’s not what the Word of God teaches. “...first, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5) You can’t let that speck remain in your brother’s eye! You need to remove it, but only after you have removed the plank in your own eye.

This person had agreed to e-mail me something I had asked for, by Monday. It was Monday, but the e-mail didn’t come. I waited for a few more days. No e-mail still. I sent a reminder e-mail. No reply to that, either. Two weeks went by. I did not get the e-mail. “Now, that’s not right. How can this person promise to do something and not do it? Or, why not call me or send me a message saying that they couldn’t send it? Well, I am not angry with this person. But, I am ‘concerned’. Oh, this person must learn to keep a promise.” I was all set to talk to this person about obeying Matthew 5:37 (“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘yes’, and your ‘no’, ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”) and Psalm 15:4b (“... who keeps his oath even when it hurts.”) I was quite prepared on what I wanted to say. I had been working on it for a few days, of course, with prayer. 

But, just before I could do this ‘talk’, God reminded me of the numerous times I had failed to keep my word! Now, that was scary. What could I do, but to simply count on His grace? There was a tremendous, almost instant, change in my attitude. Our discussion did happen. It turned out to be more helpful than accusatory. Only after the discussion did I come to know that e-mail was not this person’s preferred mode of communication.

The key is to focus on how merciful God has been to us. After all, Christ loves us sinners, sinless as He is!

When You Are Insulted...

A few years back, I attended a wedding. I went along with my college staff. As we were entering the church building, some lecturers were walking ahead of me, others behind me. Near the entrance was a gentleman who was distributing song sheets (with songs to be sung at the wedding). He handed song sheets to people entering the church. When it was my turn, I stretched my hand to receive one for myself as well. He paused, looked at me and asked “Can you sing?” If I had a ‘pride-o-meter’, the indicator would have shot up to the highest, for a moment. Meanwhile, this is what was going on in my mind: “I lead the college choir; I’ve been part of the All Souls’ Church choir; I lead worship. What made him think I can’t sing? Is he judging by looks?” One voice said, “Walk on without replying. It’s an insult! You only miss a song sheet.” The other voice said, “Who are you after all? Who gave you the gift of singing? Tell him you can sing. It is OK to be insulted.” After a moment of struggle, I chose to obey the latter voice. I calmly replied to him, “Yes, I can sing.” Again, I stretched my hand and this time, he gave me a song sheet.

It could seem like a very small thing. But, our response to such ‘small things’ matter a lot. Such situations actually reveal our true colours. I used to think I am humble enough. Only when put to test did I realise there is so much of pride in me! One of my favourite quotes: “Humility is a funny thing. The moment you think you’ve got it, you’ve lost it.” How true!

My definition of humility used to be “not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” If all I can think about is myself - me, my comfort, my problems, I have pride! Later I learnt this: “Humility is not thinking of yourself at all.” But, how can we possibly do that? If we are occupied with thinking about the interests of others (Philippians 2:4) and that of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:21), we cannot be proud and selfish. That way, we won’t even think “I’ve become humble enough!”

Christ Himself is the perfect example of humility. It amazes me that being in very nature God, He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. (Philippians 2:6,7)

He exhibited His humility by:

• Being born as a baby and becoming vulnerable 
• Being born in a manger, not in a palace 
• Being obedient to His earthly parents, though He was God 
• Talking to and feasting with ‘sinners’ 
• Obeying the laws of the land (He did not claim tax exemption because He was God!) 
• Being quiet when people called him ‘just a man’ and when people insulted Him 
• Not taking revenge against those who wanted to kill him 
• Relating to you and me and calling us His children! 

I could go on with the list....

May we be imitators of Christ and His attitude, of course, with His strength. Meekness is not weakness. In fact, it takes God's strength.