All the Way to Texas...

28 February

Yet another car ride along the GST Road, from our house at SP Koil (near Chengalpet) to my husband’s parents’ house at Vadapalani, Chennai. We have travelled this road almost every weekend for the last 6 months. But, this time, it is different. All our ‘belongings’ are bundled and fitted in a mini-truck that’s going along the same road, but in a slower pace. I look for our house key just to make sure it’s safe (as I usually do) and I realise we’ve given up that rented house. We are going to stay with Danny’s parents. For how long? We don’t know. For Danny, staying in Vadapalani meant travelling at least an hour and a half to office and another hour and a half back home. But why are we moving? Well, that’s one question we had to answer repeatedly. And the answer: Our US visas are being processed by Danny’s company for Danny to work for a project onsite and I will be accompanying him. When will be travelling? We don’t know. From what we hear, we are expecting it to happen in a week or two.

01 March

Our US visa interview is scheduled for 15th March. That’s two weeks from now. Well, by our
20 March

From early this morning, I have severe toothache. So I check with the dentist and the dentist suggests extraction of my wisdom tooth, that is in the process of coming out. I am started on antibiotics to reduce the pain and swelling. I am thanking God that our visa interview was cancelled. Otherwise, we would have been preparing for our travel now.

In the evening, we get an e-mail indicating our new visa interview appointment on the 3rd of April. To accommodate the delay in the travel date, Danny has moved to a different track in his project, where he will be replacing another onsite person. This person, who will be leaving Plano, Texas has offered to sub-lease his apartment to us. Otherwise we would have to go there and then hunt for a house. So, we gladly agree. That gives us yet another reason to thank God for the delayed trip. The house is ready even before our visa! What can we say? That’s how the Lord works.

23 March

After three days of suffering with toothache, Danny takes me to the dentist and my tooth is extracted easily. Considering the severe pain I experience and the different diet pattern I have to follow, I am thanking God we are not in the US or in SP Koil, where we would have been by ourselves. Since we are with Maama (father-in-law) and Athai (mother-in-law), they take good care of me. In fact, Maama was the one who took me to the dentist three days back. If things had worked according to our earlier calculation, we would have been travelling around this time. Thank God the trip is delayed!

03 April

Today is the visa interview. With all documents in hand and knowing that God’s way surpasses all human effort, we appear for the interview. Danny is asked a couple of basic questions about his education and we are told that our visas are approved. It was over in less than a minute. Finally! After the long wait, we now have some answer for our friends and family. We thank God for one more step forward and we start preparing for our travel. Now the next question... When do we have to travel? Our guess was 9th or 10th of April. With that, I start calling up family and friends and telling them the news.

08 April

Our preparations for the travel are on full swing. Our purchases are almost done. My parents and sister want to come and see us off. But, when would they plan to come? We don’t know the dates yet! My mother’s students are doing their board exams and she needs to be present with them (at least for the subject she teaches). She needs to be told at least two days in advance so that they can plan accordingly. Nevertheless, they decide to come on Tuesday afternoon and leave Wednesday early morning. That’s the only convenient slot for them. Irrespective of when our travel would be, they would spend some time with us. Of course, they and we would love them to see us off at the airport. But, in the given situation, this is the best we could do.

We do our final lap of shopping today. We end up waiting for an hour in the queue to bill our purchase. We come out of the supermarket grumbling about the poor service and the lethargic staff, only to realise that I’ve lost my mobile phone! The phone is gone along with all the contacts stored in it. Thankfully, I had written down a few important phone numbers on a notebook just a couple of days back. At the end of the day, we look back and see uncertainty all over. But, we choose to believe the unseen – My redeemer lives! Danny reminded me to read Habakkuk 3:17-19. After all, our situation is nothing compared to that!

10 April

My parents and sister arrive in the afternoon and I have a good time with them. Tired of calling Danny again and again asking him if there is any progress, I decide to stop calling him because the answer is always negative or unsure. Around 2 PM, Danny tells me that we might have to take the flight that departs early tomorrow morning. But still, it is not confirmed. Anyway, now that the packing is done, I am prepared for anything. “Just give me an hour’s notice for me to get everything ready” I tell him. By 7 PM, Danny tells me that the tickets are booked and the flight is at 3:30 AM tomorrow. We have to leave home around 12:30 AM. Quickly, I get things ready for our departure. My eyes are filled with tears of joy at the way the Lord works. My parents and sister are here at exactly the right time, though none of us knew it would work out this way.

11 April

We land at Dallas, Texas after a long journey. We exclaim at His grace with grateful hearts “How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.” (Psalm 31:19)

I would love to explain in detail how the Lord is leading and providing for us here in the US. But, since it’s already been a long post, I choose to wind up.

Though we don’t understand why God allows certain things, we trust and believe Him because the Word of God says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28) Some things make sense at a later point in life. Many others, we will perhaps understand only when we reach the other shore! Let us trust Him and wait for Him in all circumstances.

Back to the Palace

Position, power, passion, readiness, confidence and talent – Forty-year old Moses had all that is required of a leader. He was in an advantageous position to release the Hebrew slaves, because he was the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. His passion for his people is demonstrated when he killed an Egyptian who was beating a fellow Hebrew. He was on his toes. He was aware of the hardships of the Hebrews. “He went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labour.” (Exodus 2:11) Moses also had the best training. "Moses was educated in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in speech and action.” (Acts 7:22) But all these could not help Moses liberate his people from slavery. The Hebrews did not even accept him as their leader. “Moses thought that his own people would realize that God was using him to rescue them, but they did not.” (Acts 7:25) Later on, Moses had to flee from the palace for killing an Egyptian.

Away from the palace, Pharaoh, Egypt and the murder of an Egyptian, Moses soon got used to a different lifestyle in Midian. He was tending his father-in-law’s sheep. Forty years had gone by and Moses had become a different person. No more was he the confident and talented guy. He had become a shepherd. His reluctance to free the Hebrews is seen in that he asked too many questions and gave too many excuses to God. Looks like even his powerful speech had become slowness of speech and tongue, or he was just giving a lame excuse when he said, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Exodus 4:11)

At a time when Moses had lost his vision and passion, God met him at the burning bush and sent him back to the palace – the very place he had fled forty years ago. This time, he had no position or power. His confidence was not on himself but on God and His Power. With God, Moses was able to deliver God’s people and lead them.

Like young Moses, we often think we are best equipped to serve the Lord when we have the talent, when we are in an influential position or when we have the required resources. But, God does not want any of those. He is looking for people who will depend on Him completely with whatever they have. As goes the saying, God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called.

Whose Praise Matters?

When I was studying the Bible, this verse particularly caught my attention: “... a circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man’s praise is not from men, but from God.” (Romans 2:29) What’s the difference between being praised by God and being praised by man? Interestingly, what wins man’s praise is sharply in contrast with what wins God’s praise. You can’t blame man – he only praises you for what he sees!

Man’s praise is temporary – it is of no use when you get to heaven. It is of no value, except to make you feel good, for some time. People who praise you today may even turn against you later. So, you can't use man's praise to measure where you stand.

You would normally win man’s praise if you contribute a big sum to an orphanage or a church, pray long and loud prayers peppered with Scripture, recite a lot of verses from the Bible, lead praise and worship, perform miracles in the Name of Jesus, preach loud sermons interjected with “Hallelujah’s” and “Praise the Lord’s”, compose beautiful worship songs or write nice articles about your Christian walk. All these are good things to do. But, what would God find when He digs in deeper, where no one but He can see? Will He find a heart that is wholly devoted to Him? That’s what He desires to see and that’s what wins His praise. “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7b)

God refers to David as “a man after His own heart” (Acts 13:22). By man’s standards, David would probably be classed as an adulterer and a murderer. You don’t need an impressive record to win God’s praise, but you need to have a sincere heart. We read of many people who won God’s praise – the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:28), the centurion (Luke 7:9), Moses (Deuteronomy 34:10-12) and many others. Let us be upright before God. Confess to Him your shortcomings, sins and struggles. That’s what pleases Him. (Luke 18:9-14)

At all times, let us examine ourselves to see if we live as those who will receive praise from God. A decision to increase my prayer time is good. But I need to check why I do it. Is it because I want to spend more time with this God I love or is it just to impress someone else or myself? More than what I do for Him, it is my heart that matters to Him – a life offered to Him as a pleasing sacrifice.

Before You Point Your Fingers...

“He’s a liar”
“She gossips a lot”
“Why can’t he be more patient?”
"Why does she have such a bad temper?”

At times, it is easier for us to point out the faults of others, but not so easy to see similar or worse faults in ourselves. King David has been there too. You’re asking “when”? Observe his response to prophet Nathan. The man who took the ewe lamb that belonged to a poor man deserves to die, whereas David himself can get away with murder and adultery. He burned in anger against this fictitious character (II Samuel 12:5), not realising that his own actions were worse. When David later realised his sin, he was quick to repent but he wished that the Lord would be gracious to him (II Samuel 12:22).

Often, we are gentle when dealing with our sins, but hard on others. We plead to God for mercy when we have sinned; but when someone else sins, we label them as a ‘sinner’. God hates it when we receive forgiveness but fail to forgive others. (Matthew 18:23 – 35) Jesus teaches us to treat others the way we ourselves would want to be treated. (Matthew 6:14,15; 7:2, 12) "... you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things." (Romans 2:1)

Now, don’t yet resolve that you will never again correct another person. That’s not what the Word of God teaches. “...first, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5) You can’t let that speck remain in your brother’s eye! You need to remove it, but only after you have removed the plank in your own eye.

This person had agreed to e-mail me something I had asked for, by Monday. It was Monday, but the e-mail didn’t come. I waited for a few more days. No e-mail still. I sent a reminder e-mail. No reply to that, either. Two weeks went by. I did not get the e-mail. “Now, that’s not right. How can this person promise to do something and not do it? Or, why not call me or send me a message saying that they couldn’t send it? Well, I am not angry with this person. But, I am ‘concerned’. Oh, this person must learn to keep a promise.” I was all set to talk to this person about obeying Matthew 5:37 (“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘yes’, and your ‘no’, ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”) and Psalm 15:4b (“... who keeps his oath even when it hurts.”) I was quite prepared on what I wanted to say. I had been working on it for a few days, of course, with prayer. 

But, just before I could do this ‘talk’, God reminded me of the numerous times I had failed to keep my word! Now, that was scary. What could I do, but to simply count on His grace? There was a tremendous, almost instant, change in my attitude. Our discussion did happen. It turned out to be more helpful than accusatory. Only after the discussion did I come to know that e-mail was not this person’s preferred mode of communication.

The key is to focus on how merciful God has been to us. After all, Christ loves us sinners, sinless as He is!

When You Are Insulted...

A few years back, I attended a wedding. I went along with my college staff. As we were entering the church building, some lecturers were walking ahead of me, others behind me. Near the entrance was a gentleman who was distributing song sheets (with songs to be sung at the wedding). He handed song sheets to people entering the church. When it was my turn, I stretched my hand to receive one for myself as well. He paused, looked at me and asked “Can you sing?” If I had a ‘pride-o-meter’, the indicator would have shot up to the highest, for a moment. Meanwhile, this is what was going on in my mind: “I lead the college choir; I’ve been part of the All Souls’ Church choir; I lead worship. What made him think I can’t sing? Is he judging by looks?” One voice said, “Walk on without replying. It’s an insult! You only miss a song sheet.” The other voice said, “Who are you after all? Who gave you the gift of singing? Tell him you can sing. It is OK to be insulted.” After a moment of struggle, I chose to obey the latter voice. I calmly replied to him, “Yes, I can sing.” Again, I stretched my hand and this time, he gave me a song sheet.

It could seem like a very small thing. But, our response to such ‘small things’ matter a lot. Such situations actually reveal our true colours. I used to think I am humble enough. Only when put to test did I realise there is so much of pride in me! One of my favourite quotes: “Humility is a funny thing. The moment you think you’ve got it, you’ve lost it.” How true!

My definition of humility used to be “not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” If all I can think about is myself - me, my comfort, my problems, I have pride! Later I learnt this: “Humility is not thinking of yourself at all.” But, how can we possibly do that? If we are occupied with thinking about the interests of others (Philippians 2:4) and that of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:21), we cannot be proud and selfish. That way, we won’t even think “I’ve become humble enough!”

Christ Himself is the perfect example of humility. It amazes me that being in very nature God, He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. (Philippians 2:6,7)

He exhibited His humility by:

• Being born as a baby and becoming vulnerable 
• Being born in a manger, not in a palace 
• Being obedient to His earthly parents, though He was God 
• Talking to and feasting with ‘sinners’ 
• Obeying the laws of the land (He did not claim tax exemption because He was God!) 
• Being quiet when people called him ‘just a man’ and when people insulted Him 
• Not taking revenge against those who wanted to kill him 
• Relating to you and me and calling us His children! 

I could go on with the list....

May we be imitators of Christ and His attitude, of course, with His strength. Meekness is not weakness. In fact, it takes God's strength.

My Second Biggest Decision!!

It was a Wednesday night. When I was about to hit the bed after a long day at work, I got a call from my dad. It was quite unusual for him to call at that time. What was he going to say? He didn’t take too long to get to the point. There was a marriage proposal for me. The guy’s parents had heard about me from a common friend and they thought I would be a suitable life partner for him. That’s how it usually works in our culture -- arranged marriage, as it is called. My dad went on to say a little about him. His name is Daniel; he works with Infosys, and he is a spiritual person. My dad had spoken to me about other marriage proposals before. They didn’t work out for some reason or the other. So, I didn’t take it too seriously this time either. But I had to give him some answer. I said I would pray about it.

Then I quickly opened his Facebook profile on my phone. There wasn’t much activity on his Facebook page, but he had a profile picture. He was a guy with a pleasant face and curly long hair tied in a pony. Long hair? Hmmm... not exaclty my taste. I was not too sure what to think of him. But, I made a note of our one mutual friend and decided to talk to her. Then, I prayed that if this is the person I should marry, then it would happen; if not, I prayed that it would somehow be stopped. With that, I slept.

The next morning, my dad e-mailed me his picture. Well, in this one, he had short hair and a pleasant smiling face. I was hoping he has short hair now. I also reasoned that his profile picture on Facebook is probably not up to date, since he did not seem to be active on Facebook anyway. Then I called our mutual friend and asked her about Daniel. She said they were colleagues and he is a very nice person. Alright, that's good, but I can't make up my mind either way yet!

Soon, I got another call from dad and he asked if it would be fine for me to meet the person and talk to him on Saturday. What? In two more days? I was not sure I was ready for it. I had just heard his name for the first time yesterday! I could see that my parents were very excited about the marriage proposal. They had their reasons. The guy’s family had said that they would not take a dowry, which is traditionally a huge amount of money the bride’s family would have to pay the groom’s family at the time of marriage. That was proof that they are not money-minded people and they respect people for who they are. Finally, I agreed for our meeting on Saturday, because I didn't have a good reason to say no.

I did not yet have much reason to be as excited as my parents were, but I continued to pray. I had always thought that I would ask a lot of questions before I would agree to marry a guy. I wanted to find out everything about him before I would say “yes”. Here was my time to do what I had always wanted to do. Or was it? On Friday night, when I read my Bible, I came upon this verse in Philippians 2:3, 4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others.” That struck me hard and realigned my perspective of marriage. I realized that marriage is not about finding someone who would fit into my expectations, but the process of me weaving into his life and being a part of God's kingdom together. That was a game changer for me. I decided not to take my notepad to the ‘interview’, after all. I would let him talk and see how it goes. My prayer was that at the end of the meeting, God would make it clear to me whether I should say ‘yes’ or ‘no’; there should be no ambiguity. By the time I finished praying, I had great peace.

After a restful sleep on Friday night, Saturday morning dawned with an air of anticipation. My parents, my aunt and I drove to a friend’s house, where we had agreed to meet. After a few minutes, the guy and his parents arrived too. I was relieved to see his short hair! Then, they said Daniel and I could talk in privacy and get to know each other. Sure enough, he took the lead. The first thing he said was, "Would you pray?" I was quite impressed! Wow, a man who puts God first. Then we went on to talk about our interests, jobs, values, and common friends. It turned out that we had lot more common friends than the one listed on Facebook. After a casual chat of about 15 minutes, we walked out of the room and went to where our parents were getting acquainted. I took a seat next to my mom, and she whispered to me, “Do you like him?” I said “yes”. As soon as I did, I looked over and I saw Daniel nodding a yes to his parents as well.

Wait, had I just made a life-changing decision? Yes, I had. I barely knew anything about Daniel. But I made up my mind to love him no matter what. After all, love is a decision more than an emotion. After a couple of months of courting, I pronounced at the altar, “I Do.”

Now, considering how long Daniel takes to decide, even to buy a tie, I tell him, “the quickest decision you’ve ever made is to say ‘yes’ to me”. That’s the day we met – 4th of June, 2011. And the Lord who united us continues to guide us and hold us.

Now, if you are wondering what my first biggest decision is, you can read all about it here.

Praying Rather than Preaching

Once, my parents called me over phone and shared a problem they were going through. I quickly recollected all Bible verses I knew that would apply to their situation. I preached a short sermon to my mom, and then another sermon to my dad and then hung up. As if this were not enough, I typed out another long sermon, sent it over e-mail and asked my parents to check their mailbox. They seemed the least interested in any of this. I wonder if they even read till the end of my e-mail! Frustrated, finally, I went to the Presence of the Almighty and told Him that nothing has worked out. “So, God, you take care of it.” Soon after that, I could see a positive change, not only in my parents but also in me. I no longer thought “I have to do something about it”, because I’ve casted my burden on Him! Then I realised, what they now need is not a sermon, but someone who would listen. My action at that time was contrary to James 1:19 (“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”) They just need the strength to apply the verses they already know.

That’s not the only time I did this. I love to preach to people, especially when I myself have encountered a situation similar to the one the other person is in. It is often easy to preach than to listen patiently and pray.

Often, preaching in the wrong situations only make things worse. Well, I am not against ‘preaching’. Jesus did preach; Paul preached; so do many contemporary preachers. Their sermons, for sure, do not dissolve in the air. The difference is – knowing where to preach and where to pray. Jesus knew when to tell stories, when to ask questions, when to preach, when to pray, when to perform miracles; He also knew when to remain quiet. When Jesus foretold Simon Peter’s denial, He did not preach a sermon on standing firm in the faith. Rather, He said: “...but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.” (Luke 22:32)

In another instance, someone (say ‘Z’) did something I did not like. I was tempted to make a sarcastic comment, which I knew would hurt ‘Z’. Saying that would only result in a bitter argument. I was waiting to tell ‘Z’ that I did not like what ‘Z’ did. At that time, God reminded me that I had not yet prayed about it. “Oh yes, God! Take care of it.” I prayed and with God’s strength, refrained from making that comment and even saying anything about it. A few days later, when I was talking to ‘Z’, this topic came up and I was able to convey what I wanted to, in a non-threatening way. This time, I was helping, not hurting! That’s what the Spirit of God does. After this incident, I was all excited and I was singing:

“What a friend we have in Jesus

All our sins and griefs to bear

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer

Oh what peace we often forfeit

Oh what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.”

Philippians 4:6, 7 – “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”). ‘Anything’ and ‘every situation’ includes others’ struggles as well!